aban_aqun | Exalted Plains

Their kiss lasts for quite some time, tender and longing, until Dorian finally breaks it to draw in a shaky breath. He's still hard, yes, but that seems like the least of his concerns--or it would be if Bull hadn't made it his primary one. But Dorian certainly wouldn't mind getting off. Bull's voice is soft and intimate when he asks him what's clearly a question still in Qunlat before giving him the sweetest little kiss. Of course, he can't understand a word Bull is saying, so he can't very well answer his question.

The fact that Bull is still only communicating in his native tongue is telling. He seems, in this state, like he would do anything he was asked. It's an immense amount of responsibility, and an immense amount of trust, and Dorian treasures both. Bull is so important to him, he wants to do this well.

Dorian makes a soft, appreciative noise as Bull gives him another gentle kiss, so full of trust and devotion it hurts. If he only has this for the rest of his life--if no man ever treats him with as much plain adoration as the Bull is now--then he will still count himself lucky. He shifts beneath his massive form gradually, releasing Bull's softening cock from between his thighs and turning to lay on his back again, the better to look up into Bull's face. He feels his eyes stinging, and still refuses to let any tears fall. But he's so damned happy, and Bull is so wonderful, so impossibly perfect.

"You are impossible," he murmurs, painfully fond, as his hands play over Bull's neck and along his shoulders. "Get me cleaned up," he instructs softly. "Then I want you to hold me and use your hand."

Even if he isn't speaking Common, Bull clearly still comprehends it. He finds a wash cloth and the small basin of water near the tent flap. It's gone cold now but it's better than nothing. He returns to Dorian and gently cleans the oil and come from Dorian's skin with quiet adoration and absolute tenderness. When he's finished, he tosses the cloth so that it lands near the basin so that he doesn't have to pull away from Dorian again.

Bull eases back down onto the bedroll and arranges himself carefully. He pulls Dorian against him before taking him in hand. He knows exactly how Dorian likes to be touched now and he performs his task with perfect devotion. Bull strokes the mage steadily, grateful to have just enough oil left on his palm to ease the way. His breathing is deep and even, his mind finally quiet again after all of Dorian's effort. He wants to do this, now. He wants to give Dorian even a fraction of the relief he feels now, if he can.

As much as he likes to watch, Bull's eye drifts shut as he holds Dorian against him. Kadan.

One thing Dorian notices almost immediately is Bull's reluctance to leave his side. He gets the cloth quickly, and when it comes time to return it to the bowl, he opts to toss it rather than get up again. It's very sweet. The entire cleaning process is, actually. Bull is as gentle and attentive and thorough as he always is, and Dorian is happy to lay there and let him wash away the mess he'd made of him.

By the time he's wrapped in Bull's arms, he's a little chilly, so very happy to be engulfed in Qunari body heat. His erection has flagged a little during the whole process, but once Bull's hand is around him and working him over in exactly the way he knows he likes best, he's hard and wanting again in no time at all. But he doesn't feel desperate to come, or in any particular pressure. He's comfortable and secure and adored, held by a man who's spent all night looking at him like he personally hung the moons in the sky. What more could he need?

Bull's breath is soothing, lulling Dorian into a similar state of relaxation. Pleasure rolls through his body like gentle waves with the urging of Bull's slick finges, and Dorian finds himself drifting, matching his breathing with Bull's, with the occasional hitch or soft moan. Tingling warmth drips up and down his spine, pressure gathers in his belly, building slowly, slowly--until it isn't slow at all. After some few minutes, Dorian gasps, just a quiet, "Oh, Bull--" as Bull's calloused palm rubs just right over the sensitive head of his cock, and he comes with a stuttered groan, hips jumping as his body tenses and then relaxes.

It feels good to have Dorian shiver and gasp in his arms, to feel him reach his peak just like that. Bull continues stroking, though he slows, until he's certain Dorian has nothing left to give. He makes sure to stop before over-sensitivity can set in. Bull finds something to gently clean them both off with, realizing he'd been premature in getting rid of the wash cloth. He does the best he can, then coaxes Dorian to tuck against him.

It takes a long moment for Bull to really recover his voice; he murmurs his gratitude first in Qunlat, then in heavily accented Common. He wants Dorian to know how much this means to him before he drifts off. He makes sure to get a blanket over them, knowing Dorian might get cold without it. For a long moment Bull resists sleep, but not for the same reasons he had earlier. He feels good and he wants to experience this for as long as he can. He knows there is no guarantee of tomorrow: all they have is this.

Though it feels very much like Bull is taking care of him now, Dorian can recognize that this is something Bull needs, too. That seems to be a constant for him. Taking care of others is a natural inclination. So he lets Bull clean him up again, then relaxes happily back into his arms, letting the rumble of his voice in Qunlat--and then finally in Common--roll through him. His accent is thicker than Dorian's ever heard it, and Dorian smiles, reaching up to brush his fingers gently over Bull's cheeks, urging him to tilt his head down for another kiss.

Wrapped up in Bull and beneath a blanket, there's nowhere else Dorian would rather be. He feels warm, comfortable, satisfied, and cared for. "Thank you," he murmurs, because Bull has given him something truly special tonight. Yet he can't help but think, this is going to change something between us. He isn't yet sure how, or how much, but an experience like this can't simply pass without comment. He feels as though he understands Bull now more deeply than he ever has before. That alone is worth further consideration, even sleepy as he is.

Finally, finally, Bull drifts off. He sleeps soundly through the night, more so than he has in the past few weeks on the road. Bull is generally a light sleeper anyway, but that night he doesn't even move.

It isn't until the camp is in full swing the next morning that he starts to stir. He can smell the campfires and whatever's being made for breakfast. He hears quiet chatter. Safe, his mind whispers. He can smell Dorian and the blankets are still warm from his presence even if the mage isn't in his arms when he wakes up.

Bull sits up slowly, absently rubbing his head and his neck as he catches up with himself.

It's only a moment later when Dorian reenters the tent, holding two servings of breakfast food. He puts them down on the trunk before tying the front flap closed again, then turns to Bull with a warm smile as he delivers breakfast in bed, settling down beside him. He's dressed simply in a soft tunic and breeches, apparently having forgone getting entirely dressed for the day. He wasn't sure how much longer Bull would need him, or in what way. He wouldn't turn down another hour or two of groggy cuddling after breakfast, that's certain. After letting the Inquisitor know they'd need a little more time this morning after yesterday, they have a few hours to waste yet.

"Finally awake?" he teases, and leans up to kiss Bull's cheek. Breakfast is modest, as camp breakfast usually is, but sausage, tomato, and dark bread with butter are nothing to complain about, especially after he'd begged a little spice from Varric, who hates bland food nearly as much as he does. "I'm glad you got some rest," he says, softer. In truth, he'd barely been able to extract himself to get up. Bull had been holding him so tightly through the night.

Bull doesn’t answer right away, but he does sit up more so that he can accept the food. He’s still groggy but becoming more clear-headed the longer he’s upright. And he remembers, with some mild shame, the way he’d leaned into Dorian last night.

“Thank you for your part in that,” he says as Dorian settles down. Bull isn’t sure how to articulate what that meant to him. “Did you sleep alright?”

He’s sure it can’t have been that comfortable to have a Qunari half on top of him through the night.

Dorian doesn't feel ashamed in the least, for once, though he's navigating things carefully just in case. Last night had been...something very different. For both of them. It's difficult to tell how the whole experience has settled for the Bull.

"Remarkably well, actually," Dorian assures, and takes a moment to dig into his breakfast. He's quite good at acting casual when he's really just burning to know where they stand. It occurs to him that he's never felt for anyone quite the way he does for the Iron Bull, whatever it is that means. It's only natural, he supposes. He's never become quite so close to anyone else in this way as he has to Bull. He's never had anyone who would happily be open about sleeping with him, let alone simply sharing a bed with him for months on end. It's resulted in a very particular sort of intimacy.

It's also occurred to him more than once that this must be very similar to what it's like to actually be in a relationship. Apart from them...decidedly not being in a relationship. That would be quite impossible, especially between the two of them. But he does care for Bull a great deal (far more than he should, probably, considering), and he wants to do right by him, and he's beyond happy that Bull had trusted him the way he did last night. Dorian has done some thinking this morning, trying to imagine what it was he'd done to put Bull in that state, to help him like he had. It hadn't taken long to follow the clues from similarities to Seheron. Who would Bull have been able to go to when he needed to forget things for a while, get out of his own head, and have the needs of both his mind and body safely cared for? The answer then becomes quite obvious.

"You're welcome, by the way," he adds, and puts down his utensils to place a hand on Bull's sizable bicep. "I'm happy that I could help. Truly. Honestly, I wanted to...to thank you. For letting me."

Bull doesn't know what to do with a friendship like this. He's never had one like this. The people he has sex with and his friends are, usually, in two entirely different categories. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy rarely go hand-in-hand, and never like this. It blurs all the clear lines that have defined his life for almost forty years.

He looks over at Dorian as the mage touches his arm. Bull nods to acknowledge Dorian's gratitude, though it feel strange to be offered that.

"I haven't-- I haven't had anyone to ask for these things in years."

Despite there being Qunari colonies on the northern coast, Bull has not been around an enclave of his people in a long time. He would never consider foisting his needs on-- anyone that isn't a tamssran, actually. But he had last night and Dorian had given him everything he could.

Dorian nods slowly in acknowledgement. He can imagine why, given the care that Bull always expresses with sex. "It must have been difficult," Dorian sympathizes softly. "To go so long without someone who could see to you like that. But I was happy to do it. I want you to be able to get what you need, too, from--" and here Dorian makes a wide gesture, encompassing both of them and the space itself. "--this." No better or more specific word for it, whatever's going on between them. He doesn't know, really, apart from that it is something, far more than he'd ever thought it would be.

Though Bull seems uncertain, Dorian ventures further, prompting for a little more information, to see if what he's supposed it correct. "It's the sort of thing you'd...normally see one of your tamassrans for, yes? Not many of those here in the south."

"Yes," he admits. He hasn't seen a tamassran in a decade at this point. He's been doing his best to take care of himself, to find outlets where he can. But it isn't the same as completely giving himself over to someone.

He looks over at Dorian and gives him a wan smile.

"I'm not used to things like this overlapping." Dorian has fulfilled so many roles that Bull doesn't know how to untangle them, and that feels dangerous somehow.

"Tamassrans take care of us, whatever that looks like. Sometimes it's just sex or someone to talk to, other times it's... more involved." As Dorian has now seen. That isn't even the most involved Bull has been.

"I don't exactly have experience with this either," Dorian admits with a sardonic little laugh. "Frankly, I've never slept with the same man consistently for this long." Let alone shared space with them daily. It's actually remarkable how well he and Bull have gotten on these last few months, despite Dorian's occasional petty complaints.

It's strange to see the Bull so clearly out of his element. Dorian hopes he hasn't caused him any stress this way. He slides his hand from Bull's bicep down his arm until he can interlace their fingers, something both conciliatory and reassuring in the gesture. He wants to be someone Bull can trust. "But that certainly wasn't any hardship for me, last night." In fact, he'd rather enjoyed it. Pampering Bull and then providing something he clearly needed had brought him a deep sense of satisfaction. "I'm no tamassran, of course, but I am happy to do those things, Bull."

Talking, sex, or...something more involved. He'd proven he was capable enough last night, hadn't he?

Bull squeezes Dorian's hand and looks down at where their fingers are laced together. He hasn't had such a regular partner either, and he definitely hasn't had anyone that he has been so physically and emotionally intimate with. Dorian has become too much, but he still wants more.

He leans closer to kiss Dorian's brow.

"I will try to remember that," he concedes quietly. It did feel good. It helped. And if he can't have a tamassran, maybe this is somehow a compromise he can live with. A faint smile ticks his scarred mouth.

"Definitely not a tamassran," he teases.

It's impossible not to smile as Bull leans down to kiss him, the gesture tender and fond. Impossible not to feel that in return, like a small, comforting flame burning in his chest. When Bull merely agrees, he feels lighter, relieved. He'd worried for a moment that Bull would tell him that it was a one time sort of thing, that the trust he'd shown last night only went so far.

His hand feels small in Bull's, as it always does, but somehow he feels as though it's him supporting Bull, for a change. It's nice.

"Definitely not," Dorian agrees, chuckling. "Rather too male and not Qunari enough for that. And I'd be terrible at raising children."

"Most tamassrans don't do all of those things. They specialize, like anyone else," he says with a wry smile, but Dorian is entirely right on one point: he's too masculine, and he would never consent to being identified otherwise. Bull finds he doesn't mind at all. He likes Dorian's masculinity.

Bull knows he should eat and focus on getting ready for the day, but it feels nice to just sit there with Dorian and ignore the world beyond their tent.

"Did you hear anything about where we might be off to?"

Dorian laughs again, and feels immensely happy with how easy that is to do around Bull, especially now. "Well, how should I know, when you call them all the same thing?" He jokes, unaware of Bull's specific appreciation of him, and leans a little into Bull's side, relaxing. They have the remainder of the morning to themselves. He's perfectly content to spend it curled up together like this, talking and touching. Connected.

"Across the river, I think. Lavellan wants to have a look at that fortress." What they'll find there is still a mystery, of course, so it's best to be prepared for anything. Especially, Dorian thinks, if Bull is still going to be having a difficult time of things. He resolves to keep an especially close eye on him.

With that thought in mind, he asks, "Is there something else I can do for you this morning?" A quick glance around the tent, trying to think of other rituals the Bull might find reassuring. His gaze lands, as it so often does, on Bull's chest. "I could help to refresh your vitaar?" He suggests. "Very carefully, of course."

Bull is quietly surprised when Dorian asks - more or less - to apply his vitaar. It's true, the pattern he's been wearing since they left Skyhold is flaking off, but-- he assumed he would take care of it when they got back. He doesn't need it, though it's uniquely useful.

He knows what will happen if Dorian should mistakenly touch it, but then... Dorian knows too, he imagines. Vitaar is not a secret in Tevinter, though, as far as Bull knows, it has remained a mystery.

"Do you have any dragonskin gloves?" he asks, thinking that might be sufficient to protect Dorian's skin in the event of dripping or splashing.

Dorian is, of course, well aware of just how sick he'll feel should even a drop of vitaar touch his bare skin. Which is why he appreciates the consideration, but he's already resolved to do it. He nods slowly. "The ones Lavellan had made at the same time as your pauldron." They're the same color, crafted from the hide of the first (and thus far only) high dragon their little group has killed, back in Crestwood. He doesn't wear them all the time, but often. They're usually along with him.

He's loathe to part from Bull and the easy comfort of their little half-cuddle for even this purpose, which is an utterly embarrassing instance of pure sentimentality that he should take care of immediately. He forces himself to slip his hand from Bull's and retrieve the gloves from his pack, and not to immediately draw close again when he returns. They don't have to be touching.

"You should prepare it, of course," Dorian suggests sensibly, though he's sure that Bull already planned to. "I'll take care of the application alone. I'm quite good at drawing shapes, so I should be able to recreate the pattern easily enough."

Bull smiles when he sees the gloves. "I'll prepare it outside. Best if I mix it in the open air."

He isn't particularly eager to leave their little nest, but Bull doesn't want Dorian exposed to even the fumes in a closed space. Bull turns slightly so he can get into his trunk and carefully removes a smaller, carefully secured box. He sets it aside for now, intent on finishing the last of his breakfast first.

"Do we have time?" he asks. Dorian mentioned a slow morning and Bull just wants to be sure. He doesn't want to rush any part of the process.

"We have plenty of time," he assures, and presses a kiss to Bull's brow just above the empty socket before he settles down beside him. "Lavellan doesn't intend to leave until the afternoon." Dorian had made certain of that this morning, when he wasn't sure how well Bull would be doing.

It feels good to look after him like this, especially when Bull is so often doing it for others--for Dorian himself, even. Pleased, Dorian reaches for his plate again to finish his breakfast.

"Tell me about the pattern," Dorian requests, nodding toward Bull's shoulders. "There must be a meaning?"

"Must there?" he asks with gentle amusement. "We use geometric patterns because they are meditative to work with. They represent natural patterns and structures."

Bull sets aside his empty plate and shifts to face Dorian more. He traces the long lines that end in diamond shapes that appear on each shoulder. "Growth, vitality." His fingers move inward toward one of the symbols on his chest. "Iron and earth, for strength," he quips with a dry smile. "A few marks that soldiers use for good luck."

He turns his arm to look at one of the more abstract patterns on his bicep. "These are just a pattern I saw once on a wall in Par Vollen. Might have been meant to represent the sea or a river, I don't remember."

Bull sits back and pulls the small vitaar kit closer. "They have meaning if you want them to have meaning. There are more specific patterns that you might use to differentiate between ranks in the army. Squares tipped onto a point with interlocking lines on the inside always represent the Qun."

Edited 2019-10-08 23:04 (UTC)

Dorian might have huffed that yes, clearly there must, but he becomes far too quickly absorbed in Bull's explanation, curiosity getting the better of him. He follows Bull's gestures from one set of patterns to the next, noting the way they interact with each other, how they follow the curvature of Bull's muscles. He's studied his vitaar quite a bit by now--and not only because he'd been staring at his shoulders or his back, thank you--but it's fascinating to learn the reason for each of the geometric designs.

It makes him feel closer to Bull to learn these things. It makes him want to draw close again, to trace his fingers along the same path that Bull's had just followed. Just as when Bull had recited the Body Canto to him in the Hissing Waste, the intimacy of these moments is utterly unique, and Dorian has to wonder yet again just how he ended up in this position with an actual Qunari spy.

"So you're permitted to choose what your vitaar looks like, for the most part? You didn't have a particular pattern for being..." Dorian hasn't truly forgotten the name--the title--but he takes a moment before he continues. "...Hissrad?"

"No," he answers with a faint, far-away smile. "The point of Hissrad is to go unnoticed. It's not something I should or would project through vitaar patterns, though there are patterns for Ben-Hassrath agents if they choose to use them. The Ariqun, the Viddasala, the Tallis. But the Ben-Hassrath outside of the northern territories are Viddathari and can't wear vitaar."

He knows some that have still painted the patterns on themselves like war paint. It is their right to do so.

"As Hissrad I choose patterns that suit me or that give information that I want given." He's already described the good luck symbols used by soldiers and the other symbols have broad enough meaning that anyone might find reason to use them. Anyone that knows how to read the patterns would have no reason to suspect him of being anything but a soldier.

"I suppose that does make sense," he agrees, and allows himself to reach out and trail his fingers lightly over the pattern on Bull's closest bicep. Everything the Bull is and does here in the south is a convenient cover for his true purpose, after all. Why should his vitaar be any different?

Well, not...everything. Or at least, Dorian hopes not. After the last few months, and the previous night in particular, he thinks he can say with confidence that he knows the man Bull really is better than most.

With his plate empty, Dorian picks up his dragonskin gloves in preparation. "Well, show me how it's done, then," he says brightly. "I'm certain this is to be a moment for the history books; a Tevinter Altus learning to apply vitaar for a Ben-Hassrath agent. There's something to keep the gossips occupied."

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