Bull feels something in his chest shift when he says it. He's letting go of something he didn't realize he'd been holding so tightly. Dorian has gotten past most of his armor and Bull doesn't remember when exactly it happened. Little moments here and there of vulnerability and affection, and now he has to close himself off again.
But he does have to. There simply isn't an alternative. It would be dangerous for him, dangerous for Dorian, if they were to continue this. Bull knows who and what he is, knows what purpose he may be asked to serve. Knows that to put anything before the Qun is to unravel what he has believed his entire life. And he doesn't know that he has the strength or the bravery to do that. His whole life only makes sense under the Qun.
He knows that Dorian is in pain. The tight draw of his mouth, the false levity, the superficial smile. The way he seems ready to sweep their entire history under the rug. But Bull doesn't know what he can do to lessen the hurt. Give Dorian space, time.
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Bull feels something in his chest shift when he says it. He's letting go of something he didn't realize he'd been holding so tightly. Dorian has gotten past most of his armor and Bull doesn't remember when exactly it happened. Little moments here and there of vulnerability and affection, and now he has to close himself off again.
But he does have to. There simply isn't an alternative. It would be dangerous for him, dangerous for Dorian, if they were to continue this. Bull knows who and what he is, knows what purpose he may be asked to serve. Knows that to put anything before the Qun is to unravel what he has believed his entire life. And he doesn't know that he has the strength or the bravery to do that. His whole life only makes sense under the Qun.
He knows that Dorian is in pain. The tight draw of his mouth, the false levity, the superficial smile. The way he seems ready to sweep their entire history under the rug. But Bull doesn't know what he can do to lessen the hurt. Give Dorian space, time.
"Good night, Dorian."